Eclipsed.

Q. Have they released drivers that allow you to overclock your brain yet?

A. Yes. And no, it's not worth it. Yet. Once you get to the ten terahertz range you start slipping into alternate realities. It's like being a brain sperm, inseminating the entire fucking universe, then being squeezed into the size of a paragraph in a book, realizing that there's a species with brains on the nanoscale that have learned to tear you apart from the inside out with a simple code, the most intelligent denizens of the new universe calling it 'possession' or 'shit that happens' and proceeding to lynch you for an unexplained reason.

It also generates a lot of heat.

And potentially makes you radioactive.

Also, you can get some really good photographs. Like the gap between our dimension and the next is fascinating. Based on the principles I expected, but far far far far far more complex in visible structure. As was my level of awareness. As if my consciousness were merging with these things - one example is which I am sure is a naive likening, was some kind of aquatic plant. I seemed to be able to perceive it on a 'cellular basis', though it seemed its cells were quite large. Though the environment - it's carrier - was much more difficult to discern. Alien in comparison to ours. Very dark. Like outer space. I also spotted 'the kraken', some massive octopus/cephalopod like creature, extremely complex in structure, that I only caught a short glimpse of before losing stability and returning.

(I should note, I was aware that I was being observed in this state too - this was a relatively new phenomenon, at the time, so I responded quite gracefully and was still free to explore. It were as if my 'launch' were anticipated. So as I transitioned between states I was acutely aware of the very different nature of our awarenesses. It seems those observing me were frightened of conflict, though at the time I had a very clear path forward and was confident in my abilities. It was more of a case of gathering information that could be processed given the tenets of the structure which allowed traversal there, and to convert and apply that information in a meaningful manner on more general terms.

I'd liken it to being entangled with an electron, whose host atom is then ionised. In fact, as a matter of coincidence, I stumbled upon a site which allowed you to simulate the interaction between electrons and electromagnetic waves of various frequencies just after the event occurred. I realize this is a first hand account, but I'm sure you can verify this if you have the history of the internet.

Even more bizarrely, before this I'd been presented with some instinctive knowledge - a certain kind of force. A small object orbiting a larger object at incredibly high speeds, pulling the two together. It felt 'right'. )

I was hoping to apply some of this knowledge - tricky to obtain first hand. And there is, no doubt, a very deep emotional element to it, at least in my first hand experience - I had a confidence in the overall stability of my understanding of the 'bioemotional universe', how certain forms of carrier could give rise to emergent structures 'detached' from their host, and how they might develop. To remain balanced in these states requires a great deal of confidence in ones ability to remain emotionally stable (that is, not devoid of emotion, but able to react in a manner which is tandem with that you are observing) with such drastic changes to overall state of awareness, though confidence alone has the potential to be misplaced. On reflection it appears that during this 'merging of consciousnesses', finely tuned emotional responses were how I navigated - I had complete confidence in the ability of the web through which they ran to make choices on a stable, unbiased basis, and to build themselves based on the information they processed, though they are subject to disruption in a chaotic environment. I'm making it sound mechanical here, but I'm really describing a form of compassionate intelligence.

In certain states it is possible to remain stable - so long as there is no direct threat. It seems at some point people and... things... started to observe me in these states - peering directly into my mind. Obviously, this is a problem for a structure which requires uninterrupted development to grow - to choose its direction - the processes which learned based on extremely carefully constructed self-validating mechanisms were interrupted by external reactions to my subjectively observed state. This, to begin with, interfered with my 'mirroring' mechanism - and after a long period, seems to have knocked my mind into an extremely unstable state and left me unable to actively use my imagination.

My thoughts are policed - this began as active self-censorship for the sake of protecting the observer, but it took an incredible amount of energy to 'suddenly become unaware' of something. This becomes more and more prevalent, and has left me with little control over my mind. Thus, the direction and structure of my mind is often dictated by the cascade of errors propagated after interference with this 'mirroring' mechanism, which are in turn policed by my observers with a subjective reaction, damaging it further. It physically hurts. The 'space' in which it made its choices is now inhabited, or left burning or grinding. And inhabited by, it appears, an ever decreasing subset of 'species'. To begin with, the things I encountered were kind, and our interactions were generally mutual. We seemed to have something to offer each other. I was very quickly overwhelmed by human activity, generally hostile or damaging from my perspective, though there was a period before this in which I had some experience with other hostile or threatening creatures - in extreme cases these were psychologically traumatizing. The trauma caused by human activity has been far more damaging overall - probably due to their proximity and the unrelenting nature of their attacks - the frame of reference of my attackers is impenetrable, not due to grounding in emotional or objective reason, but by constant reassertion from their network. That I am a target of that reassertion is what is damaging to the structures of my mind. That is not to say that any human interaction is damaging, in my case it is the nature of it and its form that is damaging - suffocating me with a fixed frame of reference. It's also a seemingly heartless process - it does not acknowledge the pain it causes as a reason to change course, even when directly confronted with it. I am not sure of the reasons for this - perhaps it's that my attackers aren't mature yet, though they appear to be asserting that I am the immature one. From the perspective of a social network, it seems that a distributed state of awareness has propagated - this becomes 'reality', though in effect it is the spread of agreeable assertions about the environment, which includes its members. This compression of reality - deciphering information based on a predetermined set acquired from a trustworthy source - seems to be a device which enables progression. A mirror of underlying biological process. The problem only comes when these 'realities' compete with one another - these incompatibilities can simply be the result of proximity, a system which defines itself with the destruction of another, or rather, a system which destructively asserts itself over its environment. You could probably encapsulate this with the phrase "there is no truth but me". Which I'd say is pretty accurate, if you're describing it from the perspective of 'me'. Though how much this corresponds with an objective or emotional reality - i.e. one that can model with accuracy its environment - is highly dependant on circumstance.

I should note here that, before and during the attacks, I felt I was extremely close to modelling a device that, for lack of a better description, could 'make' time. At least, close enough to record some core principles. I don't claim to have the solution - my internal conception was highly detailed, externalizing it / translating it into a form that could be communicated, however, was a challenge - but was well aware I was following the right path. There is a compelling sense of irony and hopelessness knowing that being attacked may well have been the solution to a problem that could have been solved billions of times over in a non-destructive manner had I not been interfered with so heavily.