Bug report

: the result of Function X is periodically erroneous. Some of function X's inputs, which were functions A through V respectively, returned null, which is handled with great complexity by our compiler (similarly to that of synaptic reconfiguration) but essentially results in a rewritten function X with any reference to null factored out. So while the result of function X is technically correct, errors may propagate throughout any system which takes the result of function X as an input. This would barely be detectable in the context of a holistic system, or at least without knowing beforehand the 'correct' configuration of the function.

That's my report on a bug.

The witch is only a witch because she's forced to use reason to save her bacon. That reason, applied laterally, gives the witch abilities which make her look kind of like a witch.

Points of view

So, there was this giant eel that started swimming around the neighborhood. And it was cool at first except we discovered it could give remote electric shocks and it made such a terrible, awful sound people had to cower in their houses until night, when the eel buried its butt in the beach for its nightly napnap.

So, I was gone for what, two millennia, and I find someones built a farm where I used to lay my eggs. Not just any old farm, with cows and shit, but farms which hide other farms inside them that feed the things in the other farms, like underneath the farm there are hundreds of farms, and the... things in this farm. Man, I've never seen anything so one-dimensional. No wonder they're at the top.

What'd they feed? It'd be like... today, sir, your meal is going to be a slice of sugar paper. And your enjoyment of the experience will be as transient but not nearly as intense as a bolt of lightning.

(Question : How many viruses confusing you with sugar paper does it take to destabilize an otherwise self sustaining system? Answer : depends on how objectively good the system is).

The race to find a cure for cancer took an unexpected turn when one of the participants painted a lifelike rendition of the road ahead on a giant canvas of bricks, which all of the other participants then ran into. He also used Acme glue on the road, Acme bear traps and Acme anvils dropped from great heights by Acme automaton piloted Acme bombers. Collateral damage costs are expected to be recouped with huge profits, and with a race like this, it's worth winning for the recognition alone. In the future, the cure has already been found, along with unlimited space for all people, making the whole business a delightfully pointless folly for those observing.

I am planning to compress the entire history of life on earth into a 5 minute record. That way I have more room for my doomsday device - I mean, double rainbow machine. I forget. And now I'm out of time. Coin flip it is, then.