Eclipsed.

My head is overwhelmed. And quite frankly hasn't fully healed since the first rogue system decided to try to take it over.

All the foreign information, incredibly complex and at great speed.. I can take that. Great vistas of interpretation. The constant pummeling of my head by those attempting to force it under their control, and the resultant burnout, makes it far more difficult to efficiently determine much from that information. Instead it feels like it's simply a layer being burned off and digested by a pet.

Seems this has some effect on memory formation and inhibits (correct) systemic pathways of remote decon/reconstruction, opting for ones which are damaging or biased toward some (non internally inferred) predetermined outcome of questionable origin. Emotion, attachment to () is vital in not becoming overwhelmed by apathy toward this process. It seems that their attempts to control emotion are missing something vital, perhaps in intent. That is to say, there is perhaps a purpose for it, a link between feeling and vector in space or time, and determining a (valid outcome), which has failed to be taken into account.

Damage done in the spaces they couldn't see, and I needn't have protected with anything more than a true word and a compassionate ear. Mine appears not all that compassionate, feeding back to me with high-frequency drills, whispers from a maddening blindness, and charged with tonality, emotionally manipulative words and phrases. In other words, it appears someone rather cruel is attempting to take over the ship.

Their ultimate goal unclear, though probably to be found somewhere in an attachment to the 'self', is of little relevance if the steps they take to reach it are rooted in the reluctance to comprehend or respect the emotions of another. If only for the reason that, to my naive brain, it appears the development from links into truly holistic systems requires a network whose roots developed from empathy. If you want to truly understand the system, you have to recreate the system, which on some level, requires you to 'feel' how it 'feels', to couple your internal approximation with their form, whether that is the simulation of a force, to a crying child, to a mass of flowing energy, to a happy couple on their wedding day. Some attempts to control it seem to have had a mostly destructive effect. Too much (i.e. there is a probable predictable limit, quantized moment or 'singularity' that is defined or derived from the multi-faceted relationship between space and time) of the aforementioned process can be overwhelming. In essence, you are bound by your form, and the space in which we appear to have found freedom / the ability to hold more is in the development of the mind.

I don't think I've mentioned before the link between fractal structures and the overall structure of the brain. The extension of the idea that communication of an infinitely deep structure requires some field which quantizes it. Major organs, cellular structure and myriad forms of biological structures tend to lend themselves to this paradigm : dimensionality carried by a space which defines its depth, infinite potential quantized by its interaction with itself / another field.

The structure of the brain is more complex than, say, the lungs, which are more immediately recognizable as having a tangible link between bifurcation and physical structure, though with the brain it became clear (after cycling through cross-sections of it on a moment to moment basis) that the link between geometry and underlying process was still in the realm of fractal process, i.e. a recursive, iterative process, but that this one has varying levels of dimensional complexity, quantized in an almost euclidian manner by matter, like ripples of varying dimensionality moving / rotating through space and interacting with one another, ending up with the holistic structure - the cerebellum appears to be the most transparent carrier of this process, though this may simply be bias on my side based on the types of fractal structure I've had the ability to analyse thus far.

Of course, there is a significant advantage in analysis based on this paradigm - i.e. the nature of the underlying processes (and potentially, patterns of behaviour, possible directions / emergent structures based on their current or projected configurations) are predictable, and processes can be understood better / on more fundamental terms than brute force analysis / inference based on one observed level of interaction of what is at it's heart an altogether more holistic, emergent system, itself the result of complex interactions between emergent systems at different scales.