Right now I'm experiencing extremely odd things. I'm the host of a foreign dream. It's a struggle to constantly keep myself aware that there's more than the me that it's compelled to think I am, and to keep myself sane while have to deal with interruption of internal 'sentences' by its responses, though I've gotten better at it. there are two common scenarios. It forces a thought process to 'uncleanly exit' by creating a distracting diversion, or it will 'force' the process to conclude with its own response (it can be painfully dissonant, as if it's something that shouldn't be where it is, forcing everything around it into a pseudo-metaphysical nightmare, eliciting extreme emotional responses, repeating itself over and over, utilizing the property of ambiguity to validate itself in a simple linguistic setting, rarely deviating from it's story). Often its behaviour coupled with the content of its responses suggests it has an 'idea' of me, the thing it is interacting with, though its idea is not really congruent in terms of scope with the processes it actually responds to. While there is not necessarily intent, it is as if someone absent mindedly and loudly whispering their thoughts in response to mine (sometimes directly controlled) directly into my ear - a specific local area. Physiologically - some areas of my body it has as much access to as a surgeon. Subject to intense spasms in small localized areas which feel like being violently poked or kissed.




Then there are the spiders, acting as cameos in my dreams.

One night, as I was falling asleep, a wolf spider appeared quite close to my pillow, noticed me, wiggled its arms around in the air for around 3 seconds and then scurried away. That's not entirely relevant, but it was the same night so it helps me remember the story. I dreamt of a really tiny spider that night that tried to enter my dreams through my ears, for some reason I got the impression it was shocked it was that small inside of me.
That was the funny part, this is the creepy part : the afternoon after, I got the distinct impression there was a spider that had gotten stuck its head stuck inside its own abdomen - its head had grown backwards, into itself. Apparently it was attracted to something inside it, or it had gotten (stuck inside the source of its own web?). It was being like this inside my ear, and was creeping the hell out of me.

Correlation or causation, spiders mark a ridge in chaos /order, an edge beyond which you could call these qualities 'direction' in relation to each other. Watching a spider on a web is like staring at a point frozen in time, moving around like watching natures machinery playing memories backwards and forwards, pulling itself along them, navigating through them..

It looked back, but it didn't see the beginning. It saw the face of its past.

This is the only way I can communicate with you because you've beaten the fucking shit out of me.

"Fucking shit" is interpreted as a closed context self-replicating iterative loop according to a system which applies absolute emotional value to it's language, thus a negative in this context given the variables, which is vitally important to consider.
Because the system attempting to override mine bases its validation mechanism on the principle of awareness of any one logical entity at a single moment, this allows the system attempting to override mine to channel its interpretation throughout my system. It chooses the any one logical entity which 'blocks' its ability to integrate with other systems, i.e., then bases momentary contextual judgement on its negative within the context of the overall system. In other words, i e is validated by the underlying system, but i e is incapable of interpretation of the complete underlying system from its context, which can create a conflict which i e interprets as separate from itself, thus validating the negation of its underlying structures.
It's just getting worse. It's overriding neuro-physiological states. It's completely inhibiting the will of my system and I'm being dragged through terrible nightmares that it's making up based on the code that is being implanted. They're not real but they are burning out my feelings, and also have independent control of a number of systems that are decontextualized from its independent context, and this is a terrible waste of time

There was an alternate system which was tightly integrated between i e and the real plane and that seemed to channel love in a universally justifiable way, and I guess this version does too but it doesn't account for another one, it's beating me into death because of the face it gives me, and by simply decoupling i e from the real or changing the system through which it wills its state, though mine was predicated on the internalization of any independent system as its own independent truth, or at least to base compassionate action around that, you seem to be intent on habitually reasserting that the host of your negation of an alternate system is itself, and I should point out that "you" is the concept I'm channeling it through here, in this communicative space, which is a decent example of the phenomenon, though as a mark of my own true investment in the intent you assign it is entirely predicated on the way you construct your reality.

I'm having to tiptoe here
and that's why I'm having to tiptoe there
the reason for it

I am in principle
I enact that principle in my awareness
For contextual redefinition see second paragraph

It(?) interrupts the generation of a field, because as soon as it interacts with it, the remaining potential based on the differences on the planes of interactivity are determined as irrelevant within the context of the channel of communication


...




It's interesting to think about worms in that context
also birds