Some observations

Some observations:

There have been times when I have experienced intense levels of awareness of the potential repercussions of actions, behaviour etc on future states - varying timescales. Often this leads to internal instability.

I had spent a great deal of effort developing my internal representation of external processes. My attachment to the development of these structures probably formed due to the psychological manipulation / experimentation I appear to have been the subject of - rather, that the time invested in forming habits of a constructive, communicative nature within the systems I inhabit was often wasted, their formation stifled and foundations lost due to the repercussions of a high frequency of what I would consider environmental insults.

In order to maintain the development of these structures, I required an environment which did not ask a great deal from me - rather, to not be neck deep in social networks or to take for granted certain understandings, in order to observe and deconstruct mental habits which would otherwise be difficult to escape from or require the majority of my mental effort in order to maintain. The translation between the aforementioned internal interpretation and socially viable external representation required time to process - a constant environment of real time conversation and triggers of stress drains me of the ability to use processes required to develop deep intuition about biological, emotional and environmental processes.

At the moment, it appears I am under siege by a subset of personality types. Often dissonant, judgmental, occasionally complementary, but whose tone and words hint at an implicit understanding / hierarchy. The apparently external influence varies in complexity, usually blunt statements with little context, accusatory statements, chuckles - sometimes my dreams seem to be taken over, and occasionally I experience flashes of imagery. My head is full of people - something it never was before, or rather, never without the will to think about them. (Now, I am afraid to think about much without fear of being observed - this is not a state I am comfortable with or am willing to get used to, if only for the fact my intelligence is eroded there). It is worth noting that their accents are Southern British, that they appear to be intent on observing my actions and thoughts and reacting to them in a verbal manner - they seem to be following what I conclude to be a tight regime, they are not open in interaction, though its goal is less obvious - the whole process seems to have confused my eye with my face. It has ruined my eye. The process of observation has, as you would predict, had an effect on the observed.

My intelligence has taken me to places I fear recently. I find new experiences interesting, but I managed to keep my composure before knowing I had complete control of my internal environment - my methods of regaining stability were trustworthy enough - the ability to know how to feel. Emotion played the role of navigation. I had developed an internal set of structures  akin to a functional organism - right now, it feels as if it is being eaten alive - misinterpreted by its host and reconfigured in its own likeness. My complaint was often that the process was not iterative in nature - that its value was misrepresented.
My ideas have also been outlandish of late - as if I am receiving information from a new environment - I am having more trouble than usual verifying them in a logical basis. It is difficult to describe a sense, moreso one which is completely alien to me.