Eclipsed.

I don't give up. I listen to my fear because I need her to love me. Though I'm well versed in realizing that there are people who are a lot freer than I. And if I can't use my intelligence productively I might as well just shout my own validation in the streets. I was planning on using it for advancement of awareness or tech or something useful. At least in the areas where it matters. Though I was prohibited from developing it in that form. Perhaps that's why I'm going insane. The roots were disregarded. Which is where the point of recursion sits. I had to think myself into the shape of a penis considering mine was inhibited. Everything has become so confused. Time square. People cheering. Being bullied by people in a state of some sort of mania. A planet being torn apart by emotion. Spirits crawling through my arm. People abusing me and tunnelling to the future. Using my brain as a power source. Snipping in my head. People accusing me of being a world war. Causality is a complex phenomenon, especially considering the environment. It's difficult to be sure of anything. I dreamt a powerful dream of love to prove to them I was worth something, but I think it really destabilised me. I had to inhibit any negative thought. Like they got inside me and expected me to be the perfect dream. That would have catered to everyone. Perhaps once I would have been but they bullied me and I was forced to acknowledge the shit.

Let's assume a localized, coherent social network, by which the value of an individual is defined by the traits which appear to contribute to it. Judged from the context of this system, I am a pretty useless person. Now, let's assume that in order to contribute, you have to compete - the most successful people in this network either those who have accidentally developed traits which appear desirable, or those who invest the most time in it.