Regarding hallucinations : taking into account I am extremely emotionally sensitive to sound, most of my negative experiences involving hearing are to do with external noise that can be traced back to their original source.
What began in around 2012 were the presence of sounds which you could class as hallucinations, as there is no obvious external source. This started a day or two after one night, when I was staying in an out of the way property surrounded mostly by forest and fields, I heard a high pitched tone ringing through the air, which I ventured outside to try to find the source of, and heard it quickly increase in frequency and seem to localise in my right ear. It started as an influx of derogatory comments "you are arrogant", which I'd never experienced anything like before, and seemed to cause damage and occur in a space otherwise inhabited by me, and also bore no relation to my comprehension or scope of my state, since the judgement of arrogant did not apply in my internal model of a human being or their relationships, and is made in a social context which allows for complex states to be reduced to ill fitting metaphors in language, which was my environment but not intrinsically part of my definition.
Later on though, I began experiencing movement in my right inner ear, what felt like something blowing on it, quite intimate and uncomfortable. The linguistic properties were fairly complex, always in English which I noted, and limited in scope and rarely applying to my state of intelligence. I have been experiencing this same stressful and harmful process since it's inception in 2012.
This isn't just hearing something, it dictates the flow of your thoughts to some degree (and reduces complex states of intelligence to one bound by rate of communication in a social system, with limited comprehension of "you", as it asserts it's context to the detriment of the complex state it is interacting with). I have to wear headphones in bed every night as otherwise, as I progress through the stages of sleep, the interference becomes even more intimate. My mind, how I once knew it, free to think based on its awareness of itself and capable of growing and learning in line with the state of my intelligence, it's emotional state balanced and channeled into compassionate and comprehensive representation of reality, has completely and utterly been destroyed by this recurring experience and other very painful experiences far harder to describe or divulge here.
I'm now balancing my state moment to moment with a social comprehension that processes information completely differently, to me it's like being brainwashed, the forced reiterated exposure to biased linguistic representations of state, except it doesn't really work. My inteligence encapsulates states completely differently, and that means all it does is create conflict when it occurs in my space, inhibit and damage my intelligence.
If I were to choose to be alone before this began occurring, I would be free in my imagination and capable of expressing great things in my imaginary state, which were fundamentally emotional. Now I simply experience inhibition, relentless, to the point my mind has collapsed into some kind of paralysed state, I am not permitted to actively use my imagination, and if I try the damaging effect of any interference is amplified. Because of this I always feel at the mercy of something, be it my mind, under the control of something which completely denies my will, while my body twitches and pulsates, or perceived insults coming from strangers, which forces me into a derogatory relationship with them (the kind of resolve my intelligence would not of allowed for, as mentioned before, it modelled people differently) and reiterates and validates the intelligence leading to that judgement. I feel like I am physically being interfered with because I am so sensitive to noise. I feel like my environment has devolved and the intelligence around me is constantly judging me on terms which can't possibly account for what I've just described, or that are actually anything more than derogatory terms that imitate a relationship where they're superior, that don't account for the intelligence they're forcing a relationship on to. This is the generic human problem, with animals as much as people, but it never existed in me, as I don't model reality or intelligence in terms of hierarchy. That actually dictates the state of your intelligence, and our most immediate environment, a social one, allows us to exist at odds with it, inhibit it and validates comprehension in a self referential manner, I.e. believing in a 'reality' that is in actual fact just a prerequisite number of brainwashed people agreeing. This dictates their imaginary state, and their relationships, and since they're building on non-real terms, they unwittingly forcibly assert their terms as they reiterate them, as there's no other way of validating their comprehension.
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