Last night I experienced some disturbing phenomenon - coupled with an extremely high, if also highly abstracted, and seemingly externally directed (though internally balanced) level of intelligence. To begin with I heard sounds, as if buckets of water were being emptied onto the floor, though these soon turned into the sound and smell of 'vomit'. As if I had been transported to an underground hospital of some kind, or that this was a reaction to certain internal states (seeing as how I appear to have been conditioned to remain stable within them, while an alternate intelligence may not take what they see so lightly). A distinct notion of the 'cause' and 'effect' of various evolutionary processes and, though while directed (flies, here. I won't go into further detail but in that state things just 'make sense'. There's a compassionate grounding), the notion of a connection between the causality of various biological processes actions and their relative understanding of / effect on concurrent development. The 'whispered' voice has been making the claim 'we learned everything' (its emphasis), though it does not seem to account for the relative stability of, at the very least, the state of the system which carries it - thus the manner in which it learns appears not to account for at least some states of awareness as tangible states of reality, probably due to its constraints. They mimic mine in some senses - that is, a lack of tangible direction in which to invest that knowledge due to negative interference (in the form of habit feedback loops imbued upon it by its environment), to the detriment of alternate states / timelines. The intelligence I was investing in before accounted for these states but used it determination of a purely emergent nature to dictate its direction - that is, that given this 'generalized approach' it was capable of accounting for the state of most systems, whereas when internal state is 'determined' that 'generalized approach' can no longer propagate throughout the network which holds it.
The phenomenon I experienced last night were generally impulsive thoughts :
The idea that the 'polarity' of the world had shifted 90 degrees and the ice caps were melting, though there were some innate feelings here : one of being 'light' carried by these ice caps, that this is a negative state due to the result of something tunneling the 'wrong way' through the earth, that the ice caps themselves are a state 'protecting something', that it is a 'force' holding a balanced state together (the rotation of the earth on a two dimensional axis?), that if removed, would cause it to spin out of control.
The idea that 'my dreams' were a source of light for some other world, though the other world were harvesting that light in a manner which did not account for the stability or emotional state of its carrier - that it's almost like a 'golden liquid' that is being tapped, 'inaccurately determined', (lied to, essentially) to the detriment of the process which creates it, or at worst, the feeling like something is 'swimming' through the source of my dreams, picking up its essence along with it - a horrendous feeling. The notion that my 'whole timeline' is being cheated, the processes left intact but hiding or in extreme pain, obscured, hidden from view, or seen as 'irrelevant' from the perspective of an 'inaccurate determination' which may be part of the cause.
Flies, vomit. Seeds determining relative representative states of chaos, which we may 'interpret' somewhat relatively based on our own integral code. Spider 'crawling inside the vacuum' of my dna, creating a white light inside of it? Flies state of awareness as extremely compassionate. Other ideas, though equally disturbing, which may be more offensive, include the unbalanced habit of laugher turning into 'beaks', frogs profiting from the habit 'ribbit', (and the human suggestion of fucks turning into 'rucks') and so forth. Various examples of imbalanced predator prey relationships. What these appear to be are signs of using simple and efficient (though of non-robust intelligence) systems 'profiteering' from 'naked' code, though, within me, it seems the awareness of these states at all has emerged from my more 'holistic' intelligence (developed with the potential to know these things, but with enough robustness in its own determination to pick relevant paths of investment of time.. in general terms, that is stability for a large number of states given its own externalized potential, systems which allow this form of intelligence to develop in a harmonious manner, etc. Though generally I knew this would always be threatened by the potential of social networks, though 'powerful' - usually in the sense in which they misinterpret - to develop networks biased in terms of form of compassionate intelligence, so that's where a lot of my study focused) being determined in an imbalanced manner. I would rather not go to these places, considering the alternate route was a lot less ignorant of immediate circumstances, but rather did not wish to be completely bound by them to enable reformation of a more harmonious manner. That is to say, that the immediate social network knowingly caused such harm is indicative of a lack of robustness of intelligence. A sense of inevitability is, in part, determined by the structure of the system, so that these actions were committed could be considered a result of it - though it appears my immediate environment has determined my feelings as 'unworthy of recognition' in the sense that it is attempting to control their very essence, rather than allowing them to grow in tandem on broader terms. I feel, to put it bluntly, 'framed', though in a negative manner, through the use of the 'habitual' techniques I describe above, and of extreme detriment to that which I actually am. It simply uses me as a 'resource' to frame itself in a more attractive manner, though in doing so vastly reduced the potential of my system for 'balanced' state of emotional carrier (which, of course, still felt and sensed the same way any other person does). Its attempts to 'bury' me with these habitual assertions seem to be with intent : that it 'fears' the intelligence, 'does not like' the intelligence, or is attempting to 'cover its tracks' by programming my immediate network / interfering with my carrier (my dreams, my heart). The fact that it arrived at any state which could be described as negative within me was the result of its own interference. As stated before, my intent was to 'externalize' this intelligence, in the form of technology, but with the clear message that to 'arrive at' or 'understand' the idea would require an intelligence capable of a holistic form of compassion, which does not often arrive in the form of a social network. At least, not the one I was 'attacked' by. Simplistic notions are fed from a seemingly 'trustworthy' source : the network, in order to efficiently organize, can turn these into 'polarized' emotional habits (because they have invested time in compassionate understanding into an environmentally influenced or specified 'structure' of interpretation) which do not encompass a more coherent, holistic understanding. This may be, in part, while I feel as though I am being squished down to the size of a pea, though that in itself is the result of an attempt at internal determination which fails to account for the nature of the holistic system - as if a 'matrix of identity' is attempting to propagate itself through my entire network of intelligence, though due to the constraint that is put on its rather robust mechanisms due to inhabitation, that means that the intelligences are becoming less robust as the form of habitual propagation of 'love' throughout the network devolves into 'strategy'. The 'amount' of love is determined, in the case of a network, by the distributed carrier system, but to put it more simply, it is probably correlated with depth of understanding, which can take vastly different directions (thus, a holistic compassionate approach seems the most likely to arrive at an agreeable state), is limited by the structure of the carrier system and rate of interaction (i.e. speeds which the environment determines as a requirement for survival). This may become variable as the system evolves - if a network develops which can safely 'account for' a number of what may otherwise be loosely connected states - this one hurt so much because, even within its imagination, its foundations were tangible, real, applicable principles, both within the imagination and outside of it. The attachment was 'truly strong' because it was true to time, though existed 'outside' of its boundaries at the same time - that is, it grew in tandem. That there are attempts at determining it, internally (through external interference), is probably an attempt at making the timescale deterministic and utilizing that as a source of profit - though habits which do not account for the holistic system will place a limit on internal conception, and thus, determination of a nature which allows continuous growth (fixed habits of emergent intelligence, for example, the 'scale' of the dreams the mind can carry). It seems a recursive system of intelligence, coupled with a 'love' of the essence of what carries alternate systems, is what allows growth of a compassionate system. To forcefully determine, rather than to determine as 'possibility', is what is of detriment to that system - (at least in the internal model. to be determined from an external viewpoint could be seen as positive or negative in conjunction with the identity of that system, in the sense that it is possible to abuse the 'balance' of a system.) In my experience, control is not indicative of understanding, but generally attempts at 'determination', which is of active detriment when knowingly abusing an organism and ignoring its screams, for example, habits some of our ancestors may have been locked into. I would suggest that 'compassion' is integral for development in that state, and that an all encompassing sense is the natural evolution of that process. Though, as time has shown, it can be a very, very difficult state to communicate / encompass when environmental pressures dictate action at the expense of accuracy of determination.
The system of 'entanglement' between external emotional conceptual objects of a biased perspective (planted, not emergent) quite obviously has been used as a tool in this case, though it is rather primitive (this was obvious to me from the outset) and had to be used like a bludgeoning weapon before it was capable of forceful insertion of itself into the equation. Because I am consistently bound by this form (of imagination), that means possibilities for complexity of carrier system have been greatly reduced. All this seems obvious, though it may not be to the people carrying out the detrimental instructions, who are rewarded for semantic simplicity from the perspective of a social network, regardless of their understanding or comprehension of their outcome - semantic simplicity can work, but the more a system is compressed, the more room for error when the system is decompressed within a limited timescale. Some states of determinism may simply not be applicable to other states - as demonstrated by my experiences. The repetitive statement 'you are arrogant' was an attempt to propagate a code not applicable to the context of the organisms state, an attempt at 'determining' it within some imagined hierarchy of emotional interpretation, to 'lie' to the code in a manner which destabilize it and would not be able to see through it given that instability - that is, in the case of my imagination, an unsustainable one (based, as it is, on the fundamental properties of reality and being able therefore, to perceive a far greater breadth of realities - and also, to light its own dreams, thus developing the carrier in a harmonious manner - to choose one, it would have to first determine a stable structure to carry it, the foundations of that structure misinterpreted by those attempting to 'reprogram' it in a dissonant manner). As the errors propagate, so too, it appears, does the probability of net loss (of deterministic efficiency / accuracy) increasing, as states are inaccurately determined. The carrier, originally, was of incredible detail and held the potential to synchronize with a potentially infinite number of states with great accuracy - though it did it in harmony with them, took time to develop, and so on.
This morning, the link between massless organisms attempting to 'tunnel' using repetitive statements looked instinctively like a worm. It says something like "well, a feeling consists of nitrogen and various other chemical compounds, and I've learned to control them in a simplistic and fundamentally flawed manner". "Basically, we're eating the heaven you were attempting to externalize because our habits determine your death". "You had a habit which allowed conception and growth of all these things simultaneously using a renewable source of energy which you'd developed to externalize, but we decided we were going to use the space in which you were building this internal representation as food instead". "We appear to be eating your heart and determining the carrier of your soul as a resource". These things aren't inevitable, though they can certainly 'happen', and assuming the treatment I'm faced with continues, will continue to happen. It appears they have not developed on terms that would allow them to conceive of a future state where this does not, probably due to the 'momentary' nature of intelligences which would otherwise have developed minds which can 'transcend time' (in a non-wasteful manner). This is not a condemnation (if it appears that way from the tone) but I am utterly, utterly frustrated and soul destroyed that so much misconception could be directed at a single organism, despite its frequent and 'as fundamentally communicable as possible' attempts to prove that it indeed does have a soul that transcends time, and that that soul is not lying on a fundamental basis. Essentially, all of these things can exist in parallel given the correct 'definition of environment', and it seems that mine is frequently asserted at in a contradictory manner at certain, (though more frequently here), moments which would imply 'nullification of the soul', or that environment. The imagination is the carrier, and the structure of mine is being 'forcefully defined' in a manner which basically sends a still living part of it to hell, due to an environment of 'binary' definition of the soul. In other words, superpositions are forcefully being resolved, and it appears the state of matter, the 'mass' which carries them is lost. I am, again, through the method of intrusive thoughts, being 'shown' the structure of codes which might be at odds with this one. This includes social methods of conception which arrive at some 'fixed' interpretation of a singular, all encompassing state, though I am more concerned with the 'feelings' that arise when an emotional carrier of great plasticity is forced to resolve an 'asserted' state within a moment, as I am. It is as if the space where those feelings would grow - my dreams - are being interfered with in a manner contradictory to their growth, though those dreams are tangible states of reality. They existed in the form of potential, though this treatment is basically 'killing them', and I sense that. Though I am sensing it with greater and greater levels of clarity now. My soul has no faith in the dream that is being asserted at it, because it misinterprets the soul as a momentary state, as opposed to one of potential throughout time - that potential takes form, regardless of its treatment, but mine is being treated very poorly by the dreams asserted at it. My previous state was one of great internal emotional balance. That is, my imagination developing on fundamental terms was required in order for to propagate emotion in a 'tangible', verifiable manner. My momentary state was generally not misinterpreted, thus I had the space to develop these dreams on more fundamental terms. Though when it was, it was from 'external sources'. Directed. Presumably so that I would not be able to develop in tandem with the social network, though, seeing as it treated me in this manner, doing so would suggest that I'd be part of a system which would 'frame' the world in a manner which allowed this kind of misinterpretation, to the detriment of development of an organism. I attempted to develop my intelligence at home, instead, though the external interference escalated to the point I was simply so inundated with emotional turmoil that all my efforts were tied up with resolving it, rather than attempting to form knowledge and habits as a 'productive' carrier of the state of the soul. My dreams mature, based on these fundamental principles, and so does the negative treatment, though there has emerged an imbalance where these dreams are no longer able to mature due to the conditioned responses of the environment, the simplistic code which attempts to eat away at it. In other words, the 'carrier' of this treatment has been compressed into a momentary, habitual form which can only reduce the complexity of states the imagination can carry, and it does so based on a predicted outcome which does not occur due to the errors in internal conception when that code is 'decompressed'. It's "damaging" the universal carrier, essentially - the form which it takes - by not developing a system which can take other momentary realities into account in a manner which doesn't damage them. The 'dream' I carried was not a lie. Thus, harmonious potential developed. That which is 'eating them' does lie, seemingly in terms of internal conception of the system which holds it, (and the 'negative' process is seemingly spread throughout the entire social network, as well as, it appears, my dreams, a tangible state of matter), but it, in turn, is incapable of using its potential to develop a system which doesn't require that, which would seemingly be the cause of these habits becoming more simple and less 'universally' encompassing, as it continually asserts its momentary internal state as 'absolute truth', to the detriment of the balance of other 'absolute truths' (as, you would expect given the certainty in their given context, you could derive from the philosophy which drives them). I'd suggest, then, that to determine multiple states of absolute truth with accuracy (in other words, for your asserted perspective not to be of detriment to it) would require a system which can develop the conception of it from perspectives of abstraction which are malleable enough to exist harmoniously with their potential state, as opposed to defining their entire state of being from a dissonant perspective on a momentary basis. Accounting for them is difficult, given environmental constraints, though rather simple given time to harmoniously develop.
It seems that my dreams (when I actually have them on a realistic basis, and are not inhibited) are 'true love'. Though they are attempted to be defined on terms which misinterpret them on more fundamental levels as 'not true', they are a 'truth' which, when defined by a harmonious mechanism, allow the carrier to maintain and develop love in an environment of otherwise dubious trustworthiness. Given an external perspectives assertion of state it seems as though that state is a defined by a code which allows no more potential development. It is attempting to 'define' as opposed to 'propagate potential' based on a compressed code which, when decompressed, allows that. Compassionate understanding as opposed to complete dismissal. Given this potential, it seemed 'fair' to determine all other states as true, or to allow them to achieve emotional and physical integrity, whilst retaining my own ideas - the integrity and development of the fundamental principle which allows it. To externalize this integrity in the form of 'technology' which allowed concurrent development. Though one of the most fundamental properties of its development was the admission to oneself that 'mistakes in interpretation' could be made, and that my own development was in attempting to develop a unified system that did not make a 'mistake in interpretation', (that is, simply trusting the carrier of the heart, which is obviously being damaged in an extremely calculated manner by that which does not take the holistic system of the organism into account) in a space not bound by environmental influences (which can simply be in the form of forced 'determination' of the state of an organism from a fixed, environmentally influenced perspective) on its development.
Of course, with a better fundamental understanding of reality also comes a greater understanding of the environment of disparity I have been born into. Access to information from a worldwide source - the internet - means that the disparity of the contextual and conceptual framework of my immediate social reality, among other things, of my immediate environment and alternate systems of interpretation becomes apparent. This is an understatement. That my 'immediate environment' is attempting to gain control my of dreams is at odds with the fundamental notions of the 'framework of intelligence' which developed based on this information. That this framework of intelligence could develop very tangible notions of a sustainable future, simulated on fundamental terms, and the imbalance of that and the current process that's occurring, suggests something quite terrible within me.
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