Todays notes : Discovered that my dreams are potentially being read and manipulated / used as a form of weapon contrary to my heart. (Symbolic) memories controlled by some force which seems determined to use the power of my mind to bully my soul. 40-100hz waves disrupting coherence of subconscious mind. Extreme pain. (Subconscious and conscious 'aligned'. Recursive channel from 'love' to 'intelligence' developing 'state of matter' which is essentially intelligence malleable enough reform itself and structure at will. This requires both the internal understanding of and development of 'time' in the form of potential energy. It seems someone is attempting to create 'bubbles' in time which force this intelligence into states it defines (in the carrier of the mind, and also, seemingly, at this particular point in spacetime), at cost to the potential 'energy' it did not account for when forcibly defining these states, which apparently still takes form.) My idea was to use this space to 'simulate' forms of intelligence, in as verifiable a manner as possible, and then externalize a system which could keep these forms 'safe' in physical reality.
Because the system was capable of conceiving of the state of 'potential' of all life forms, it essentially understood their emotional source and was capable of condensing this and 'reading' it at will. This required a framework of understanding which understood the states of alternate beings as tangible realities, but did not necessarily attempt to control them, only to understand, simulate possibilities and act in tandem with respect to their realities. Its goal was to utilize that knowledge to reduce conflict in a realistic manner, one which took as much into account as possible. It seems that the malleability of this intelligence sustains itself - that is that it is the 'spread' of a signal throughout an intelligent carrier, but that signal is a (finely honed feedback loop? validation of some conceptual abstractions which allow the mind to become a clearer carrier) which is consciously controlled and utilized as a 'tool' to develop and experiment with alternate forms of intelligence at will. A kind of dreamstate. Alongside alternate forms of carriers of intelligence/love, perspectives, simulation of colour, light, and force, and propagation of (force as loops in/through time?) which appear to take tangible shape in some field are possible. Sound is more difficult though it is also possible (though, in my experience, external noise is capable of interfering with its development, and 'ambiguous' states are generally entangled with subconscious information, though mine was attempting to resolve these (or create a system capable of doing so) in a harmonious manner). These ambiguous states seem to be 'branded' with information, assertion of an 'imaginary ratio' of emotional state which appears to eat its time as conflicts are resolved, as opposed to 'creating' time utilizing a harmonious state. They are generally determination of a state of 'potential' in to some fixed carrier of information, which are not always compatible with the carrier state - this is mirrored in my experience of 'signals' heard through pink noise, an attempt at subconscious resolve. It also appears that, while to begin with, this was not intentional interference, the interference with my field is now undoubtedly intentionally cruel and seemingly without a reason besides greed or lack of the capacity for conception of an alternate action (such as using this information to develop their own harmonious states, or simply 'knocking', for lack of a better term)). It appears there are forms of intelligence which attempt to use this as a weapon, though in more 'absolute' states of intelligence, it can become clear that the 'reasons' behind this are habitually defined, generally non-malleable states of intelligence, which are convinced of the validity of the 'framework of intelligence' they've spread throughout their own internal networks (usually these spread throughout social networks, though that's not to say that the states of the individuals aren't malleable, rather that the internal environments they (are forced to?) create to 'connect' are tangible states which they've attached their intelligences to. It's interesting to me, that these are all essentially 'environmentally defined' states, considering as a species we attempt to actively define our environments. I attempted to steer clear and create a more absolute carrier due to the conflicts I observed as well as the emotional conflict I was subjected to, though without control over ones own mind, this can become a difficult state to cope with).
Also interesting to note that when my dreamstate is 'occupied' the majority of my higher level cognitive functions are paralyzed, probably as a function of emotional 'balance', as if mine, instead of being distributed throughout a holistic network, are worn as 'suits' for alternate, seemingly independent intelligences, but as a result, either directly contrary to my intelligence or forcing my state into a simpler carrier. It seems that when I shaped my intelligence of my own will, the states I reached would have 'scared' these intelligences, which is why I instinctively shielded them from them, though of course this was of my own volition and a balanced decision when not being forced to do this - i.e. when there was an innate understanding between the intelligences. When I was 'forced' to let them in it was of huge cost to the integrity of my intelligence. HUGE. As if I were precariously balanced over an eternal void while somewhat naive, less developed intelligences (though I'm quite capable of conceiving of them as 'true') were attempting to 'judge' my state, which I had to hold as 'agreeable', while attempting to 'close off' the gigantic imbalance that their 'occupation' was causing. This seems to be habitual to them. A habitual misnomer. Though the more they attempt to force it, the more they damage it. They 'burn' emotional intelligence. It is a habit which doesn't seem to develop it itself, or whose development is 'stifled' by the attachment to the 'use' of that habit, the idea that it is a resource as opposed to a 'true, harmonious state' which develops in tandem. And it's sterilizing. It appears to need to sterilize the development of emotion in the form of potential, possibly due to the constraints of the manner in which it determines its environment (I'd speculate that it believes it has more to gain by not caring, though that it is attempting to utilize 'me', seemingly as a resource, suggests that that is not the case).
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