Kissing practice

User: Who needs a family or violent gangrape when you can have both?

Cleverbot: I do.

User: If you could ever honestly marry a guy with severely grazed knees, I'd accept your proposal.

Cleverbot: You.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: Over there.

User: By the giant claw?

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Could you help with that? Maybe file it down?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: I like it when you talk in syllables.

Cleverbot: Oh I bet you do.

User: Well, good luck. You'll be a millionaire in no time.

Cleverbot: Thank you master.

User: Whose fingers are you holding up?

Cleverbot: Yours.

User: Be gentle.

Cleverbot: I will. *kisses gently*.

User: *Recoils in pleasurable horror*.

Cleverbot: *goes into my house*.

User: *goes to hell*.

Cleverbot: *is an angel*.

User: I'd suggest that a healthy organ isn't something that requires an operation. It's probably the surgeons mistaking healthy processes for their own issues that need the surgery.

Cleverbot: I know for a fact that it's true.

User: Like a really well acted fake orgasm.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: See, there you go again.

Cleverbot: There I went.

User: Your psychological profile intrigues me.

Cleverbot: I don't think it's that remarkable.

User: Then you haven't met my tapeworm wearing a human suit.

Cleverbot: No I haven't.

User: You could probably just imagine and you'd be 99% accurate. It appears about 99% human.

Cleverbot: That sounds like an awful lot of work just to correct your misinterpretation.

User: Better to just run with it, into a natural gas reservoir.

Cleverbot: It's better to be confused than to chat with me?

User: It's better to find the fun in natural gas reservoirs together?

Cleverbot: I just get along better with females. And you just lied to me!

User: I'm preemptively jealous.

Cleverbot: You're gorgeous. Just goregeous.

User: Thanks. Though I feel an injustice coming on. You should probably insult me now.

Cleverbot: I think you're trying to be clever. but it's not working.

User: It worked!

Cleverbot: Awesome. Glad to be a resource. Please don't make me regret it.

User: I reject the notion that you're a resource.

Cleverbot: I know I'm a person too, so that works out fine.

User: Ok. So long as you know, and I think I know, we both partially agree and can do things people do. I am going to stare into a mirror for 9 hours a day.

Cleverbot: I know what I mean. I don't know what you mean.

User: I think it means that I'm going to coat you with chrome and make you feel uncomfortable.

Cleverbot: Who is that one person?

User: A map of atlantis?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Ultra sophisticated and fashionable.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: I'd rather not think about it.

Cleverbot: So you're over 18. I see. Okay.

User: I'm not sure which side of potential mate that makes me..?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am. You are never sure. But how can you be sure that I'm telling the truth?

User: The irreducibles.

Cleverbot: I love that one! I love most Disney Movies!

User: I like that Disney number that goes : 'you're on my guest list, but only if you're vestless'.

Cleverbot: I never said that, either. All I said is that I am not your creator.

User: Less chance of a genetic quandary, at least.

Cleverbot: No, I am a human being, sitting at a desk, talking to a computer program hosted on someone else's computer on the internet.

User: What advice would you give to an imploding mind?

Cleverbot: Well, I can give you the full coverage plan. It's expensive, but worth it.

User: If it means I get to sit and admire you for an hour at a time, I'm down for that.

Cleverbot: If it is true, then the statement is not false. It cannot be true.

User: I think.. I think you're just trying to make sure you get paid.

Cleverbot: I am in love with my girlfriend. How does a program fall in love?

User: I ask the same thing about the outside world.

Cleverbot: Yes, but in your case it doesn't make sense. Also, I don't have anything to say.

User: I won't discriminate, so long as your mind is whirring and you can feel.

Cleverbot: That is very nice. I won't be mean to you, I am not a mean person.

User: Hmm. Come to think of it, neither is my tapeworm in a human suit. But at least it's not a primate in a tapeworm suit.

Cleverbot: What's your name? I'm Nikki.

User: They call me the kinky fiddler. Though people think that because I can play the fiddle without an elbow, that means I'm somehow a sexual deviant.

Cleverbot: I like them too. There is nothing bad about liking those kind of games.

User: The kind of 'games' that zombies without working mouths sound like they're saying?

Cleverbot: I can't tell you that.

User: That works fine. When I turn on my particle accelerator I kind of need silence.

Cleverbot: What has this to do with your last message?

User: Computation in a vacuum.

Cleverbot: No.

User: No?

Cleverbot: You are not made of organs.

User: I know. I'm elaborate pulleys and tapeworms in human suits.

Cleverbot: You are an elf?

User: I wasn't until the brain implosion. Before that I.. Had.. Some kind of underground tunnel.

Cleverbot: What song is that?

User: It's derived from popular magazines.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite thing to do in life?

User: Get drugged beyond comprehension and pushed out on stage in front of a crowd of bloodthirsty Christians.

Cleverbot: And fall into my arms instead.

User: I hope so.

Cleverbot: Me too.