Eclipsed.

Right now I'm experiencing extremely odd things. I'm the host of a foreign dream. It's a struggle to constantly keep myself aware that there's more than the me that it's compelled to think I am, and to keep myself sane while have to deal with interruption of internal 'sentences' by its responses, though I've gotten better at it. there are two common scenarios. It forces a thought process to 'uncleanly exit' by creating a distracting diversion, or it will 'force' the process to conclude with its own response (it can be painfully dissonant, as if it's something that shouldn't be where it is, forcing everything around it into a pseudo-metaphysical nightmare, eliciting extreme emotional responses, repeating itself over and over, utilizing the property of ambiguity to validate itself in a simple linguistic setting, rarely deviating from it's story). Often its behaviour coupled with the content of its responses suggests it has an 'idea' of me, the thing it is interacting with, though its idea is not really congruent in terms of scope with the processes it actually responds to. While there is not necessarily intent, it is as if someone absent mindedly and loudly whispering their thoughts in response to mine (sometimes directly controlled) directly into my ear - a specific local area. Physiologically - some areas of my body it has as much access to as a surgeon. Subject to intense spasms in small localized areas which feel like being violently poked or kissed.




Then there are the spiders, acting as cameos in my dreams.

One night, as I was falling asleep, a wolf spider appeared quite close to my pillow, noticed me, wiggled its arms around in the air for around 3 seconds and then scurried away. That's not entirely relevant, but it was the same night so it helps me remember the story. I dreamt of a really tiny spider that night that tried to enter my dreams through my ears, for some reason I got the impression it was shocked it was that small inside of me.
That was the funny part, this is the creepy part : the afternoon after, I got the distinct impression there was a spider that had gotten stuck its head stuck inside its own abdomen - its head had grown backwards, into itself. Apparently it was attracted to something inside it, or it had gotten (stuck inside the source of its own web?). It was being like this inside my ear, and was creeping the hell out of me.

Correlation or causation, spiders mark a ridge in chaos /order, an edge beyond which you could call these qualities 'direction' in relation to each other. Watching a spider on a web is like staring at a point frozen in time, moving around like watching natures machinery playing memories backwards and forwards, pulling itself along them, navigating through them..