Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Hearts on puppet strings

"Sure, we'll look after your kids", said the BBC, licking its lips and rubbing its palms together gleefully.

"Daddy's a bad man. Kill daddy" it whispers repeatedly, and almost inaudibly, behind a cheerful tune that'd put a smile on anyones face.

400 years later the BBC joined forces with ACME and started manufacturing 'play suits' for babies to wear, which was - at the time - aptly dubbed "my first identity augmentation kit". They towered above cities, slowly rotating the babies, giving a full 360 degree panorama to their heads which peeked above the top of the towering suit, with panels of brightly coloured buttons it could press to make the machine stomp or fire colourful play missiles in random directions from the device. The BBC, by then, was actually a massive underground complex, safe from the chaos of the maddeningly, incomprehensibly high levels of joy it wrought amongst the unsuspecting citizens of planet earth.

In 1200 years, someone sabotages the biological supercomputer used to simulate and calculate the trajectory of the earth so that it can safely avoid ice ages, natural disasters and pandemics, by injecting random data into key points in the calculation. The motivation behind this is an attractor which pulled the mind of the attacker toward a certain predefined structure - the form of the attractor simply the phrase "death to the infidels", repeated indiscriminately by a threshold number of zombies. They then used this biological supercomputer to create a weaponized natural disaster and later claimed that "we didn't do it, it was that guy, you know, the one with a mind and no heart".

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