02/04/21

Before you have a chance to develop an organic conception of yourself or the ability to direct your imagination independently in a manner which channels your will in line with your creative intelligence, the most immediate information about yourself and your relationship with your environment is conveyed and represented with language and in the form of human relationships and hierarchy. In recent history it is fairly uniformly distributed and synchronized throughout the population. It informs the basis of your imaginary conception of reality, which is codified, relayed, and resolved as the experience of it as a complete awareness you are fully engaged in and consider representative. It also implicitly describes a conception of yourself which this imaginary state is resolved in relation to. It is far removed from a conscious conception of the complex biological state which creates the conditions for your emergent conception, and represents things in a manner relatively devoid of biological context. #

The general health of the social network in my current city 04/08/21

 (In the form of a list of common indirectly or otherwise applied derogatory gestures and assertions).

Let the variable  :

OH MY GOD, IT'S INSIDE ME! IT'S CRAWLING AROUND INSIDE OF MY BODY! I CAN FEEL IT EATING MY GENITALS OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!

or, < (less than), in it's shorthand form, denote :

The asserted invalidation of a projected inferior state by a self referentially validated superior state (

• A tongue pushed in to the bottom of the lip : used to denote the asserted invalidation of a projected inferior state (in relation to it's own assumed superiority).
• A clutched fist in an up and down motion : a derogatory sexual gesture, used to denote the asserted invalidation of a projected inferior state (in relation to it's own assumed superiority).
• The derogatory terms "spacky", "creep" and "freak", used to denote the asserted invalidation of a projected inferior state (in relation to it's own assumed superiority).
• The epidemic spread of the behaviour of 'holding hands', intuitively understood as a symbolic gesture of innately valid love, and generally resolved as a harmless behaviour, but which is deliberately applied in relation to the inferior identity state as defined by the derogatory terms described above, in order to evoke harm or confusion, and suggests that the justification of the love between the two parties involved in holding hands requires a derogatory relationship with a third, projected inferior state.  
• The statement "I regret nothing", originating from and reiterated through the self referentially validated social network, integrated into an individual identity which adheres to it, then considered representative, and applied in response to a projected criticism of them, to denote the individual's lack of responsibility for behaviours evoked or instilled by the adherence to the self referentially validated, responsibility diffusing social network.

 A formalised system of intelligence may be valid in terms of a self referential context, but may not be valid in terms of intersections with the real plane (in reality). It's possible to rule out a self referentially (in the context of physical law and relationships) valid state, but ultimately the assertive force relies on a fundamental equality in order to propagate it's imbalanced assertion.

reminder v2 november 2013

As I am writing this,

I am being judged by imbeciles*.
(rabble rabble).
Note the inherent contradiction there. ^
(But we're? free).
But we've got all the weapons!

Attempt at solidification of map in im axis through habitual reiteration in (emergent ndim plane) which (drains) instead of (creates) energy?

Arrogant. Spack. Fool. 40 hz tones. Packs of slaves. Dogs on leashes. Chessboards. Nuclear timebombs. Etc. But (all this due to environmental* assertion of no time? moment-to-moment interaction within confines of im environment? due to attempt at definition of time which fails to account for?). Half life of recursion of potential/probabilistic process before (containment within concept)?

(*)er.

Yesterday it felt, after attempting to process information in order to make a decision, as if something had bitten/torn a chunk out of my mind. A couple of days before, surrounded by shadows, having my right ear snipped at regularly - I counted about 36 before I lost my temper. Felt like my imagination was being crushed during this process. Afterwards, I heard a voice say "she smiled", felt as if my imagination was 'free' but being controlled and was shown images (including the dog pummeling / fucking mush, blue three headed dolphin, and also a woman in a kitchen with a guillotine blade narrowly missing her as she walked). I felt then, and still feel like, I am in the epicenter of raw emotion and extremely misguided intelligence. There is no innate sense of a 'future' here. That leaves my mind grinding against misguided moments and is of detriment to the structures of intelligence I was constructing in order to create more space/time. Seems as if love, and 'synchronization' with this in a harmonious manner, was the key to this. The process I'm currently subject to is terrifying and it seems that those with 'control' do so with little understanding - especially in the bio-emotional realm. It also appears there's a link between this process and the ability to learn. There's the propagation of habit as a tool, but there also appear to be habits which allow access to innate intelligence. In my case, tapping into these also created a failsafe in terms of the utilization of that innate intelligence, though obviously that does not mean I am bulletproof, rather that this intelligence would negate the need for their use.

It feels as if my mind has been entangled with another world. This was fine to begin with, considering the integrity of my mind at that point. Here, due to the constant monitoring of my very thought processes and emotional state from the (inside?), it appears that paths (or rather, processes, such as doubt, but with validation mechanisms which allow freedom to act), are blocked or altered as their core fundaments are misinterpreted and responded to by their observers.

Trustworthy. This includes 'honest perspective', and 'respecting the feelings of others' can be derived from that. That is part of the code that led me to intelligence, and that was what I was looking for. With the amount I am being altered, this is becoming more difficult to find even in my own mind. I guess the point is that this is what enables me to act and direct my own internal pathways with honest confidence.

Interesting that I am being 'framed' within my own dreams. As if energy within my own mind is somehow 'misinterpreting' itself (or rather, inhabited by (some process) and misinterpreted). It seems before there was a barrier between external interpretation and my own space. It seems that the manner in which 'moments' are perceived now have an effect on my internal interpretation.

https://www.zekeclough.co.uk

Apart from beautiful things clinging on to my soul, and vice-versa, I heard through the grapevine that chickens basically use clucking as a form of survival mechanism because life is generally really cruel to them. They see the potential for life in worms. Which is really cool. It's kind of beautiful there. And incredibly sad. But they're just (cluck) I'm gonna (cluck) keep finding the (cluck) beauty in (cluck) worms. Be(cluck) I know it's (cluck) there, even if (cluck) there's a (cluck) fox with evil (cluck) teeth eating my (cluck) babies. Kind of like one of those old acorn computers reading disks. 

I also learned that while genomes contain a 'quantizable' brackets quantifiable amount of data that can be measured in binary form, that the potential complexity of the vector of development in time is essentially undefined. And that the core of the sun is tricky. Though it's kind of just condensed love surrounded by a supernova because there's no innate 'time' there.

I am also going to retract this and redefine it at a later date into something less confusing with more well defined ambiguously emotional vectors. Stop beating me up. It's a misinterpretation. I'm just a kid.

There are lots of things which see the consequences. It's kind of inevitable. Extremely intelligent beings with no time. So they're pushed around without form. And the things with form form them. It's a pretty bare, arid landscape according to a fly. And it is. There are whole worlds suffering. Spiders are like, I'm pretty much the blood of spacetime. If you read spider silk from a certain angle (the inside?) it's pretty damn beautiful. And they're very intelligent creatures. They all are. I guess they're two examples of the cruelty spectrum. It seems the big, hairy mean ones are probably being pushed that way because of the emount of cruel environmental interference. I'm not sure if there's a wrong side of the cruelty spectrum for a fly. I'd imagine it's not a pleasant dream unless you meet pleasant things. Though I did meet a male(?) spider who was upside down(?), had long hair and a huge glowing radioactive butt, who was frantic and kind of ugly but not at all cruel. Just kind of shy, kind of ashamed and very intelligent. It's not that horrifying if you can understand it, though understanding it might change yhour direction, so I guess it's your choice. I could handle many. Though I'm not sure I chose this one.

Fuck off please

 

Thank you