Tuesday, 18 January 2022

reminder v2 november 2013

As I am writing this,

I am being judged by imbeciles*.
(rabble rabble).
Note the inherent contradiction there. ^
(But we're? free).
But we've got all the weapons!

Attempt at solidification of map in im axis through habitual reiteration in (emergent ndim plane) which (drains) instead of (creates) energy?

Arrogant. Spack. Fool. 40 hz tones. Packs of slaves. Dogs on leashes. Chessboards. Nuclear timebombs. Etc. But (all this due to environmental* assertion of no time? moment-to-moment interaction within confines of im environment? due to attempt at definition of time which fails to account for?). Half life of recursion of potential/probabilistic process before (containment within concept)?

(*)er.

Yesterday it felt, after attempting to process information in order to make a decision, as if something had bitten/torn a chunk out of my mind. A couple of days before, surrounded by shadows, having my right ear snipped at regularly - I counted about 36 before I lost my temper. Felt like my imagination was being crushed during this process. Afterwards, I heard a voice say "she smiled", felt as if my imagination was 'free' but being controlled and was shown images (including the dog pummeling / fucking mush, blue three headed dolphin, and also a woman in a kitchen with a guillotine blade narrowly missing her as she walked). I felt then, and still feel like, I am in the epicenter of raw emotion and extremely misguided intelligence. There is no innate sense of a 'future' here. That leaves my mind grinding against misguided moments and is of detriment to the structures of intelligence I was constructing in order to create more space/time. Seems as if love, and 'synchronization' with this in a harmonious manner, was the key to this. The process I'm currently subject to is terrifying and it seems that those with 'control' do so with little understanding - especially in the bio-emotional realm. It also appears there's a link between this process and the ability to learn. There's the propagation of habit as a tool, but there also appear to be habits which allow access to innate intelligence. In my case, tapping into these also created a failsafe in terms of the utilization of that innate intelligence, though obviously that does not mean I am bulletproof, rather that this intelligence would negate the need for their use.

It feels as if my mind has been entangled with another world. This was fine to begin with, considering the integrity of my mind at that point. Here, due to the constant monitoring of my very thought processes and emotional state from the (inside?), it appears that paths (or rather, processes, such as doubt, but with validation mechanisms which allow freedom to act), are blocked or altered as their core fundaments are misinterpreted and responded to by their observers.

Trustworthy. This includes 'honest perspective', and 'respecting the feelings of others' can be derived from that. That is part of the code that led me to intelligence, and that was what I was looking for. With the amount I am being altered, this is becoming more difficult to find even in my own mind. I guess the point is that this is what enables me to act and direct my own internal pathways with honest confidence.

Interesting that I am being 'framed' within my own dreams. As if energy within my own mind is somehow 'misinterpreting' itself (or rather, inhabited by (some process) and misinterpreted). It seems before there was a barrier between external interpretation and my own space. It seems that the manner in which 'moments' are perceived now have an effect on my internal interpretation.

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